Morgan and Morgan at the pool

Morgan and Nina went to visit great grandad and Pat in Trion today. Audrey hung out with Mark and I and got to take a long nap again:) When Morgan got home, we all headed off for the pool. Morgan's friend, Morgan, was there whom we haven't seen in a long time. My Morgan was so excited to see her and was confused/disappointed when she was not met with the same enthusiasm. At one point she even said, "Aren't you happy to see me?" To which her friend replied, "No." My daughter did not know what she was supposed to do. She kept on trying to talk to this girl and the girl ignored her and then said she wasn't her friend anymore. I called Morgan over and she told me what the girl had said. I told her that it was hard to hear someone say something like that and that I could understand if she felt hurt. I also told her that it seemed like Morgan needed some space and asked her what she thought she wanted to do. She said, "I am going to tell her to please be nice to me and stop saying those things." She did and the girl acted like she didn't hear her. I called Morgan back over and asked if she wanted to go into the big pool with me and try again later. She didn't take me up on it right away, but eventually went into the big pool even when her friend declined her invitation to come along. After a bit, they ended up having a snack together and playing just fine. It was a very interesting trip to the pool.
I have to say that it is getting easier as Morgan continues to get older to kind of step back and allow her to navigate her own relationships. Kids really can work it out without being forced to be "nice" to each other. If we allow them time and space, they teach each other how to have relationships, how to communicate with people, and how to respect another person's feelings/needs. It was so nice not to have Morgan's mom step in and insist that she be "nice" or insist that she "play" with my Morgan. That would have robbed both of them of the opportunity to really get to know each other and how each other wants to be treated. Having no one "make" Morgan act a different way allowed my daughter to look at how she was feeling when her friend said certain things to her. Had her mom stepped in, the focus would have been taken off hurt feelings and a desire to communicate. Both girls had to actually work at communicating their wants effectively with each other because they were left to do so. How wonderful it would be if more parents (including myself at times) could step back and allow children more freedom to have and maintain their own relationships. All the times we step in to "teach" them to be "polite" or "nice" do more harm than good; and I would argue do not teach politeness or anything pleasant at all. I think that situations like Morgan experienced this evening are what actually show children why they would want to treat someone with kindness.