Happy Birthday, Diane!

My grandmother was one of the most, if not the most, patient, loving, accepting, and gentle beings that I have ever known. It wasn't that she was perfect, or that I ever thought that she was. She just had an ever present peace about her that allowed me to relax and be myself around her. I can't remember even one time when I felt like she judged me or thought I was anything less than perfect just the way I was. Her love was absolutely unquestionably unconditional. My innermost darkest secrets couldn't touch the way she felt about me. If anything, I think my struggles actually deepened the love my gram had for me. Whenever we were together, there was always a moment when she would stop and ask, "Do you know I love you?" When I would reply, "yes," she would tell me that that is all that mattered in her life. Her question was never rhetorical. She was always so sincere in the way she asked that I knew my answer meant something each and every time I answered. The way in which she consistently asked this left me with no doubt that loving and being loved are truly the reasons for being alive. She held me, both metaphorically and literally, in such a way that my worries melted and acceptance of myself in this life would remain. Her love worked miracles. I saw it and it changed me forever.

I remember my grandmother today, her daughter's birthday. Even though she is no longer physically with me, my gram lives on through her daughter. On the days when sorrow fills my body at the thought that my children will never experience their great grandmommy, I am relieved as soon as my thoughts turn to Diane. Watching her with my girls is something I hold sacred. The way their faces light up and their bodies come alive with excitement when Diane shows up is truly a beautiful sight. I know from the way she speaks to them, the way she touches them, and the way she respects each one for the unique person she is, that my girls have in Diane what I had in my grandmother. There aren't many things I want more than my daughters to experience the peace and acceptance that comes with being loved as Diane loves them. I actually do sleep better at night knowing they have that amazing woman in their lives. I look forward to every moment we spend together and miss her terribly when she is away. We all do. We are all better for loving and being loved by her. Words do not even come close to being able to express the gratitude that lives in my heart for everything she does for my family. I thank you and hope you know how much I love you. Do you know I love you? Happy Birthday, Diane!